It was inevitable. Episode after episode of
Antiques Roadshow showcasing extreme valuables and wares, you knew something
would happen one day.
Every time you saw it, your brain always asked that
little question, ‘What if the Valuer breaks that $100,000 tea
cup?’ You felt it in your bones. A little part of you
just wanted to see it. Well today’s the day [well, not today, but
a while ago…].
Here’s the information for the incident report:
Location: China
- TV Program: Chinese Central Television’s ’10 most
valuable treasures episode’
- Item: A million dollar, 2500 year old mirror.
- Perpetrator: Mei-Lein*; Crew member on the set of
filming
- Incident: Said mirror falls from said perpetrators
hands and meets the ground at a tremendous speed.
There’s no telling to what was going through poor ol’ Mei-Lein’s
mind at that exact moment when the mirror slipped from her delicate hands. There’s no
telling; but it’s fun to think about.
The obvious comes to mind. A
profanity. Maybe two, three or four. But a profanity in
Chinese of course. And because the Chinese are polite in front of
cameras, she would’ve been sworn in silence with a smile on her face.
But maybe she went through something similar to a near death experience. Her whole world flashing before her. Her family, her partner, her first grade teacher, the stir fry she was looking forward to that night… It was all there, reflecting back at her in the broken shards of mirror.
But regardless of her life slideshow, all of those
thoughts would then crescendo into Mei-Lein being escorted out of the studio
and expressed straight to a Nimble Payment Plan Hell.
But maybe it was less of a near death experience and more of an armed
robbery? Two words. Escape Plan. Would she be
racking her brains to remember what the fire warden told her in case of
emergency? Would she run through Studio Four, down the stairs,
around the corner, straight past the assembly area and on the next slow boat to
Japan? Maybe.
But there’s one thing you can be sure of. And
it’s not the pain of paying back the million dollars in forty dollar installments back to a scary looking bunny. No, it's the pain of superstition. Yeah, you better believe it.
Poor Mei-Lein. She’s
now got 17,500 years back luck crossed against her name. 17,500
years of bad hair cuts. 17,500 years of ugly men. 17,500
years of getting gluggy rice.
17,500 years of this as your husband.
So what does poor Mei-Lein do now? Does she try
and jump off the Sky Central Plaza Building and end it all? Would her
luck be so bad that even if she did that, she’d land in an open truck full of
pillows and just end up severely maiming herself?
Don’t worry, Quirk Berserk fans. There’s hope for our friend. Rather
than focus on what she’s lost, let’s band together and cheer for she’s
got. She can now;
- walk under ladders,
- step on cracks,
- open an
umbrella inside her house,
- throw salt and pepper willy-nilly,
- put her new shoes
on the table,
- square-dance on Black Friday,
- and never, ever have to ever worry about anymore bad luck. Just add it to the tab.
- and never, ever have to ever worry about anymore bad luck. Just add it to the tab.
So if you think you’re having a bad day, think of our
poor butterfingers, Mei-Lein. Think of her and that exact moment where
it all went wrong...
*Mei-Lein is not her real name. But this is real picture from THAT '10 Most Valuable Treasures Episode'.
